more robot & progress

So, I mostly finished "in which these implications appear to present difficulties" ...got a lot of the live electronics started... decided I mostly liked all the piano notes actually after all. Feeling meh about the piece so maybe that means its not actually finished. Originally, it was for toy piano but then I got all large with the range and stuff. Like... I'm not sure why I'm finishing it bc I really have no burning desire to get it played... esp. now since I made it not exactly playable by toy. But maybe I'm just feeling meh right now. Or I suppose it could work for 2 toy pianos. Maybe.

I applied to some stuff this week... made all my intended deadlines except one, which isn't bad. Also, found a show for my robot in mid-November in Boston. I'm not definitely in, but I'm likely to get in (says the curator). So, I really gotta start crackin'. That is actually a deadline that is coming up fast. Oh, and what I proposed was my chair robot that walks in rhythm & I mic the floor, etc. Also, moving it with a wiimote. Chairbot is fragile, blind, and can fall over. I intend NOT to name it Chairbot, tho. I need something snappy or cute, but I'm bored off 'bot' on the end of everything.

I feel like I get so off-track... I guess its hard to finish pieces that I have no definite deadline / show to get ready for. I'm wondering if I should try & book a Dec. show like I said... since w/applying to grad school + Nov. robot show... I'm going to be burning the candle at both ends... but... I am only working part-time this year.

One thing that occurred to me. I sometimes feel bad since my performances have gone down a bit. But one thing is that I have been (except for when I took a break last winter) composing fairly consistently... and when I had a lot of performances (in 2008 I had 22, which is a lot, I think)... I was often performing the same show, over and over again. And I didn't have a dayjob. And I was getting performances bc I was in grad school for it part of the year. Having a dayjob totally brings down my productivity... or music output, actually. Esp. the time that I spent doing it 40 hrs. a week. Anyways, I'll probably book a tour of my robots some time next spring. we shall see.....

headspaces and to do.

it seems like there are different phases I go through in regards to my work:

1. Just got an opportunity of some kind, performance, etc. that I have to start coming up with ideas for. This is probably the least stessful time, as I like coming up with ideas, esp. for something that already has an outlet, etc. that I don't have to do an excessive amount of administration / promotion for by myself. I think about random stuff a lot.

2. In the middle of developing a work that already has a performance date, etc. Also, not that stressful unless I convince myself that I'm behind on things. I am relatively focused, and able to keep up some with other part of my life, such as sleeping, paying bills, social life / obligations, being productive at the dayjob.

3. Right before a performance. Unless my shit is really together and I actually believe this (yes, this has happened a few times), this can get somewhat stressful. Depending on the project, I could start to code nonstop, I can't sleep, I lose the ability to concentrate on dayjob stuff, bills, what bills? paperwork, what? I probably can't see my bedroom's floor... I am easily startled, easily distracted, easily alarmed, find it hard to think abstractly. I start to spend lots of money on extra parts and cables, etc. I may or may not need...

4. Post-performance. No matter how well something went, I get kinda depressed afterwards for a few weeks unless I already have something immediately lined up that requires attention. I miss that feeling of purpose and structure... I may start to take dance classes compulsively, cook large meals, read an inordinate amount of genre urban fantasy, etc. Or instead of depression, I have become very social (for me).

5. Applying for a shitload of things, booking a tour (or just a few shows, one show whatever... Anxiety, depression, ennui! Oh, how can I make it seem like I fit what they want? Should I do this? Should I do that? Can I actually find enough performers for this one? Is this really a good place to present this or that? Hi, procrastination., awesome to see you again. Feel a little blah (or a lot) until I get something. Argh, blah.

6. Producing something on my own. Ack, stress! This requires that I utilize skills which require lots of effort for me: promotion, managing / scheduling other people, getting out a zilion things on time, writing a lot of emails, trying to be early to things, trying to be organized / organizing others. This trumps most situations in stress, except for if I spend an excessive amount of time not actually working on a project which is sorta like the stress of being unemployed I guess. (at first it can be a relief but then it grows horrible gradually)

Guess which stage I'm in! (4&5) So, the amount I've done on those to-do items is pretty damn pitiful. Eek. I did buy some robot parts but I forgot to buy the RF receiver. Oh well. I actually haven't applied for that many things yet, but I spent most of the time finding opps, looking at deadlines, and etc. I did finish an app to SEAMUS coz its in Miami this year. Usually, its in the middle of freaking nowhere and I'm like... I'm not paying money to be in this coz this conference is already on my C.V. and I don't want to go to Indiana to listen to tape music. But Miami could be fun. Anyways, lots of stuff lately, fall is riddled with deadlines. I also scoured the internet for new places to play that might be friendly to a bizarre-ish line-up (flamenco piece, video piece, origami piece) but I failed. Maybe The Tank will take this one... since my hunt for places turned up a bit dry... I mean, partly I'm just not sure how to sell the show... which maybe I should just try and do all those pieces separately but blah blah blah... why not all at once? It would be about 45ish min of playing time ( 15min + 17min + 10min(?? ) ), which is a lot for moi, but that still leaves a lot of room to schedule other artists with me I think and I want my flamenco and origami pieces PERFORMED in real-time, yoz.

cabaret robots!!! and to do.

So, I got that feeling. That feeling like I wanted to write a cabaret show again. Here's the deal:
1) Make fragile robots that I put together ON-STAGE (with a lab coat)... I mean, it will mostly be together, I will do trivial things... screw it in, etc.
2) They will be percussive robots! A bicycle wheel instrument... a percussive walking robot thingy, etc.
3) Tango dancing between my moving robots!!! (I take off the lab coat and throw on a feather boa! yay!)
4) Also, will perform: Balancing Act II, 2 covers (one in a foreign language... def.), "oh lovely!", possibly "days that bleed", possibly Piazzolla's "libertango" (!!!!), probably have the old standards working and rotate them in and out: "balancing act", "study in losing control", "things that breathe", "Stefan", etc.

BUT!
I must:
1) start recording "In Transit"... tomorrow!
2) finish "in which these implications appear to present difficulties" (did work on tonight)
3) finish "Origami II"
4) book a show for early December! (flamenco (violin/bass), Origami II, I'll huff & puff)
5) think about grad school apps (ick poo!)

Stuff to get for robots, YAYA!
1) bicycle wheel
2) Arduino Main Board
3) Servo
4) RF Link 2400bps Receiver - 315MHz
5) Basic Breadboard

post-show

So, everything went fine. "I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down" came off mostly as I had envisioned it. The tech worked. ETC.

I am editing the documentation of it in iMovie as I type. Well, I'm importing the video to edit v. soon.

I also have updated to OS X 10.6, apparently without a hitch. Phew.

I also, randomly, mostly finished the piano part to "in which these implications appear to present difficulties" and so I think I will try to finish the Supercollider part this week or next weekend.... we shall see. Plus, I'll probably sit around editing the actual score for 2-3 weeks before I think its done. It sounds a bit... hmm, dunno, in need of editing to me still, so I'll prob. be working out the rough edges for a while. I was a bit careless with the counterpoint, so I'll be focusing on that. Hopefully, the SC part will be pretty cut and dry.

THEN, then... then I need to:
1) finish scoring the origami piece
2) start "in transit", mainly traveling on the subway with recording device
3) book a show. yip yip yip.

crash and burn. 4 more days.

4 more days until the performance. ack! and there is stuff that STILL isn't working.

Basically, although my computer has 2 firewire cables it is totally not cool with having 2 firewire devices plugged in at the same time.

Also, the wiimote pairing has been so horrible that I've written so that I am just controlling the fx changes with one wiimote. Pairing two has been nightmarez.

AND we still need to deal with lighting issues, yo.

OMFG.

Other than that, it was okay. OTHER THAN THAT.

**pulls hair out**

I'm now trying to see if I can get my PC laptop to recognize my new handycam... and then THEN get my macbook to send osc to it... then I could at least test the concept although I think my PC laptop might be too slow... but proof of concept would be nice, if possible.

Am now backing up my harddrive in case I have to go to 10.6 before performace but that will be... backup plan C or something.

The end, gah.